Starting Over (Again)
Because life is just "like that," I’ve been (un)lucky enough to experience a total reset a number of times in the last decade. I’ve moved to cities and countries without visiting them first, quit jobs, been laid off, and started (and ended) relationships. If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve probably experienced "restarts" and "rebuilds" too. I’m not going to BS you: starting over is hard, and it’s something we have to face head-on.
A quick caveat: I’m not a mental health professional, so I’m going to stay in my lane and talk about what starting over feels like in our professional lives. Boundaries! (There’ll be another blog about those later).
Hesitation Makes Sense
Change is anxiety-riddling. Since humans are creatures of habit, an unexpected shift can feel like someone threw a wrench into your house of glass.
Sometimes we stay where we’re miserable just because we’re comfortable. Even when we want more for ourselves, the hesitation sticks because we’re afraid to fail—which is deeply human. But if you're reading this and realize the only thing stopping you is fear, maybe it’s time to clear out that "head trash" you’ve been catastrophizing.
I’m not saying you should change just for the sake of it. Do not mistake being comfortable with being safe, but if you are genuinely happy and have a healthy balance between work and life? AMAZING. Please, keep doing what you’re doing (and email me your secrets).
Change is a Challenge—Treat It Like One
I’ll admit, I’ve set goals where I was so overconfident that they became completely unrealistic. Case in point: this new venture I’m on.
With my pride and ego leading the way, I thought I could launch a consulting company in a few months. I nailed the small stuff—the admin, the website, the Google domain. I knew my strengths and was ready to tackle it all.
But guess what I forgot to calculate? I was living in a country with a completely different culture than the US. My timeline wasn't just ambitious; it was impossible. When I couldn’t catch a break, I stopped trying altogether.
So, I decided to start over. I broke the challenge down into itty-bitty goals. One of them is this blog—learning right alongside you. What do you need? What do you expect? How can I use my experience to help you? You know, just existential business questions. No big deal.
What if Starting Over Wasn't a Choice?
If you’re reading this and thinking about a current crisis... I truly hope things work out in your favor. When we have no choice but to restart, we grieve. We grieve the life we had and the future we imagined.
There is a lot of shame tied to getting fired or laid off. There’s no way around that feeling, only through it. Feel it all. Lean on your people—friends, family, neighbors, or your community. Then, once you’ve polished off a pint of ice cream and watched your favorite movie... create a game plan.
It doesn’t have to be pretty. Humans are resilient; you will figure it out. Honestly, I think the messier the beginning is, the better. It is YOUR mess. It is YOUR life. You get to do whatever you want with it. Focus on what you can control, and when it gets overwhelming, take a break and eat another pint of ice cream. (I really want ice cream now.)
How to Actually Start
There’s no "Official Universal Step-by-Step Guide." It’s easier said than done, but the beginning requires a lot of faith in yourself and a willingness to look a little stupid.
If you need something tangible to try, let's look at SMART goals. I know, I know. It sounds a bit HR-y, but they work:
Specific: Direct, meaningful, and detailed.
Measurable: Make it trackable. How do you define success?
Achievable: Realistic and reasonable, but still a challenge.
Relevant: Does this align with where you actually want to go?
Time-bound: Give yourself a deadline to monitor progress.
Goals evolve; don’t be afraid to change them as you go. Creating small goals to start the momentum is a great way to get motivated. My first step was to choose the best notebook to start taking notes in. Then the pen. You know where I’m going with this.
But here is the thing: while you’re picking out your pens and mapping out your SMART goals, remember that you don't have to navigate the rebuild alone.
Starting over is a project. And like any project, it benefits from a strategy, a bit of outside perspective, and someone to help you filter out the head trash so you can focus on the actual work. That is why I’m here. I’m taking my years of experience… the moves, the pivots, the layoffs, and the international leaps… and putting them to work for you.
We’re going to figure out what you need, what you expect, and how to get you to that next Chapter One without the soul-crushing overwhelm.
So, buy the notebook. Write down one unrealistic dream, then break it into three itty-bitty, achievable steps. And if you’re feeling stuck in the messy middle of a professional restart, let’s talk. We can build a game plan together.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a pint of Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream and a very blank, very beautiful new notebook.
Let’s get to work.
